How To Help A Roommate Through Depression

By Allie Mitchell on June 2, 2016

College can be an extremely fun time in your life, but college can also be extremely stressful. Not everyone is as good at handling stress like others. There is so much on your plate — for example, classes, tests, friends, sleeping, finals, finances, etc. People tend to wonder how some people are calm and collected during college and how they make it through unscathed.

When some people are under stressful situations or when new big chances arise, certain things can happen to an individual. College is a trigger for mental problems such as anxiety and bipolar disorder, and for this article we are talking about depression.

Living with a roommate in college can give you the advantage of perhaps seeing some of these things develop firsthand. Even if you aren’t the closest of friends, how can you not notice your roommate —  who was once always up to go out and talk and always having friends over — is now closed off, not in the mood for anything, and they just don’t feel like much.

Before anything let’s define depression, since most people tend to declare depression as someone being “really sad.” Depression is much more than just feeling sad.

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Depression: A serious medical condition in which a person feels very sad, hopeless, and unimportant and often is unable to live in a normal way.

Now that we have defined it, let’s look at some of the symptoms to look for in depression. The correct term, or the more medical based term, for the condition is deemed “clinical depression.”

Symptoms: Loss of interest in pleasurable activities, weight gain or loss, insomnia or oversleeping, feeling worthless or guilty, trouble concentrating or making decisions, thoughts of suicide.

This is not to say that every time your roommate sleeps in that they are depressed. Don’t jump down somebody’s throat when you don’t have all the facts. Making assumptions can cause more problems than you want in the long run. No one is saying to drag them to a hospital, but make sure you are just keeping an eye on them, making sure you are available for them if they ever really needed you.

Now let’s suggest that you find out that your roommate does get diagnosed with depression; what now? A lot of individuals don’t know how to react to the news of someone they know being diagnosed with a mental disorder, let alone know how to act once that person is in their presence. Instincts can sometimes lead people to baby the other person, to hover over them constantly. There are much better ways to go about this than to become a helicopter friend.

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1. Educate yourself: Make sure you understand what is going on with them, because not everyone will be so forthcoming with the medical aspects of it all. You don’t have to become an expert on their depression, but updating yourself on things can help decrease instances where you might say well-intentioned, but quite hurtful, things to your friend.

You will probably never know what they are going through, but you can always try. Effort is something that everyone loves in someone else.

2. Talk about their stress: It is true that talking things out can help clear the mind and body much faster than keeping it all bottled inside. You first want to talk to them about the stress they are under and the triggers that may be inducing this depression they have. The stress they are under is causing these terrible things to happen within their mind.

Does that mean they aren’t fully functional? No! Does this mean they should take little breaks in their life here and there? Yes! Taking a few minutes to breath is always a good idea for anyone, not just depression patients.

3. Support them: Make sure you speak about the kinds of support surrounding that person. Make sure it is enough. Everyone deserves a solid support system around them. Have your roommate know that you are there and that you aren’t going anywhere.

Just knowing that there is someone by their side can make all the difference in their recovery. Research has shown that people decrease their chances of relapse when a strong support system surrounds them.

4. Remind them of their worth and strength: Everyone loves a good compliment, but to your roommate, telling them that they are strong, they are good enough, and they are worth it can make all the difference in their life. Your roommate most likely categorizes themselves as weak and useless; you need to remind them. A confidence boost can go a long way in the recovery process.

5. Use humor: Give them a good laugh. Laughter is the best medicine for anyone. There are no needles, no pills, no liquids involved. It is just you and your roommate talking to one another. Laughing can cause some of the fear and some of the panic to go away and all they can do is hold their stomach and laugh. At the end of the day, if you can crack a solid joke like old times, it means you are treating them like a person, not a mental patient.

Mental disorders are no joking matter and they affect people every day. Simply being there for someone when they need you can make their road to recovery a less rocky one.

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