From Roomies To Besties: Your How-To Guide

By Francine Fluetsch on January 14, 2016

image via bestfriendsx.tumblr.com

Sometimes in life, we meet those people that we just instantly click with. Maybe you met them in a past life, maybe they share your obsessive love for pasta, whatever it is, when you meet these people, you want to try and keep them as friends for life.

Now, they always say that living with a friend in college is a no go, and that you and your roommate should keep a strict “roommates only” relationship, but I think if you click with them then that rule can be forgotten.

So here are some tips for developing a friendship with your roommate so you’ll blossom into so much more: full-fledged besties!

Have those 2 a.m. talks:

During the day you can bond over classes and cute people that you saw at the bonfire or whatnot, but the real way to delve into friendship is to have those late night, too tired to function so everything is funny, talks.

You’ll learn so much about one another, and from this, will start the road to becoming really good friends. These are the moments where the conversation will just flow, and you can talk about anything, from family to friends to past relationships to what you would name yourself if you randomly got turned into a cat.

These talks will result in some awesome inside jokes, and will allow you to pick up on what type of person they are when their guard is completely down.

Notice argument patterns:

Being in a small space with someone, even someone that you really click with, is never going to be without its arguments. Roommates that don’t care about being friends might really go at it, attacking each other or giving each other awkward silent treatments, but if you want a friendship to be kept with the person you are living with, you are going to have to be mindful of arguments, and how to fix them.

It can be hard to be the bigger person sometimes, but fights are usually about silly things that have easy fixes, so sometimes it’s best to take a breath, give each other some space, and then come back together and hash it out.

My bestie/roommate and I had a rough patch when we first moved in together because we are both very stubborn about things, so playful banter would turn into full fledged arguing about something pointless like what color her brother’s hair was.

We both learned to recognize when the other was a bit more heated/frazzled about something, so we would both know when to back off because we both agreed that the fights were silly and got us nowhere.

If you can pick up on patterns and avoid things that you know will start arguments, you’ll be in the clear. I can’t remember the last time we fought and this is our third year living together!

Have “me” time:

The thing that is usually the downfall for roommates turned besties is when they spend every waking moment together. Doing stuff with someone that you relate to is great, but you also want to make sure that you fit some “me” time in there so you don’t hang out with them too often and get overwhelmed.

The great thing about living together is you can hang out in spurts, and they will always be there when you come home or be there to hang out with in the morning, but then you can go to your own room or hang on your bed if you share a room and both take some time to just settle with your own thoughts.

roomsurf.com

Be comfortable with one another:

Being comfortable with one another will come with time, and will result after many 2 a.m. conversations, dead week meltdowns, significant other drama, and so on. You will learn how to best help your roommate/bestie out, and they in turn will learn how to be there for you.

A sign of true friendship is when you can have bathroom talks so you don’t have to be awkward about going in your shared bathroom anymore. This also helps when you get a tummy ache and can tell your roomie/bestie to cover for you when you are with a bunch of friends.

I know it might seem weird to talk about, but once you do you’ll feel so much better, and know each other on a different level.

Respect one another:

Everyone deals with stress differently and has a different definition of what really hard means, so always be mindful and respectful when your roommate turned bestie is venting about their classes or stresses.

You might not think it’s hard, but you aren’t in their predicament, so instead of telling them to suck it up, let them vent to you and offer advice if they would like some. College is all about getting through it together, and if you can respect each other, you’ll be solid.

These are just a few of the ways to maintain your budding roommate-to-friends relationship. It will take some time to get to the best friend zone, but once you make it, you’ll be friends for life, so it will be well worth the effort, and will make them much more enjoyable to live with. Good luck!

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