How To Ace Finals Fashion

By John Wong on April 28, 2015

The difference between how much someone gives a shit on the first day of classes and during finals week is amazing. I don’t even understand where the unofficial finals uniform, a hoodie and sweatpants, came from. Does being comfortable actually make you remember the answers better?

But seriously people, you all look heinous. The worst are the ones that show up in the crewneck/sweatpants bloutfit, and I’m officially done. Here’s how to look fly as hell when you walk in the door to take that final that’s gonna kick your ass. But at least your ass is going to be one of those model asses everybody wants because your fashion game will be one hunnid.

1. Pick the right bag

This is for guys and girls. Everybody please take the time right now to dispose of any bags that have the words Jansport, The North Face, or, God forbid, Michael Kors on them. They scream “I peaked in high school” and it’s time we changed that. Here are some bags I recommend (all bags are unisex, IMO):

http://bagaholicboy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/louis_vuitton_monogram-miroir-sac-plat-gold.jpg

This gold, Louis Vuitton bag screams “I’m educated” and “I’m also very rich and fabulous.” I swear I saw some Asian girls carrying these on the Quad last week.

http://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/2012/11/46/2/166/1668379/ce5dd67a55236ede_0-chanelhulahoop.xxxlarge/i/Chanel-Hula-Hoop-Bag-Sold-Stores.jpg

Anybody with the balls to wear a bag made from two hula hoops deserves an automatic A+ on any final.

http://thecitylovesyou.com/fashion/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/jil-sander-leather-lunch-bag-1.jpg

Remember that old lunch bag your mom used to pack your Uncrustables in when you were in high school? This is the chic, leather, $630 version of that.

2) Cop the right kicks

http://www.scottrskinner.com/image/data/Christian-Louboutin-Shoes/Christian-Louboutin-Pumps/Christian-Louboutin-Alti-Pump-Spikes-160mm-Patent-Leather-Black-Red-Sole-Shoes-160.jpg

Ladies, these studded, famously red-soled Louboutin heels scream, “I’m ready to f*** (up this final).”

http://nk_wp_media.s3.amazonaws.com/files/2015/02/adidas-yeezy-boost-detailed-images-1.jpg

What happens when you’re a bored, multiplatinum selling rapper with a hot wife and a kid? You design a pair of shoes made from the interior of a 1999 Nissan Versa, that’s what.

3) Don’t be afraid to experiment with your look

http://blingingbeauty.com/wp-content/themes/arts-culture/timthumb.php?src=http%3A%2F%2Fblingingbeauty.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F10%2Famerican-music-awards-1png.png&q=90&w=630&zc=1

Seriously, guys and girls alike, do NOT be afraid to change up the way you look once in awhile. People will look at you completely different, and I mean that in all the best ways possible. They will respect you.

4) Finish any look with a cup of Starbucks coffee

http://assets.starbucks.com/blogmedia/4e305372-b417-478e-824d-9f55892e06bb

This should actually be one of your go-to accessories year-round while you’re in school. It says, “I stayed up all night studying for this final because I take my education seriously.”

Fun fact: professors have actually been known to grade more leniently if they see a student taking a final with a Starbucks cup in hand because they think they stayed up all night studying for the final and they take their education seriously. Frappuccinos do not count. And also be sure to spike the coffee with some Addy.

Now that you have my fashion tips, go out there and make that final your bitch and the classroom your runway. 

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