So ... How Did You Lose It?

By Francine Fluetsch on October 7, 2014

image via www.theheartlinknetwork.com

I was watching reruns of “New Girl” the other day, and came across the episode where the gang discussed how they lost their V-cards. Most of them were embarrassing and downright funny, and it got me thinking, why not ask some college students about their first time?

Well this was definitely a more awk situation than I first imagined, but I did get some people to man up and give me their stories.

So here they are: how some kids in college lost it.

Alex’s story:

When Alex was 16, her and her boyfriend decided they should do the dirty. Alex’s parents were always home, so they decided to head over to her boyfriend’s house while his dad was at work (his mom lived in a different state).

The day was set, the candles were lit, there were even rose peddles on the bed as Alex entered her boyfriend’s room.

As they started making out, they heard a noise downstairs, but brushed it off. It was probably the dogs or something.

After fumbling with the rubber and finally getting situated, Alex waited for the magic to happen. Just as they got more of a hang of things, the door burst open to reveal her boyfriend’s 12-year-old brother, who had been home the whole time.

He screamed, Alex screamed, her boyfriend angrily told the brother to get out, but the moment was ruined.

Needless to say, the little brother was probably scarred for life, but it now makes for a great story.

Sabrina’s story:

Sabrina and her boyfriend had been waiting a long time to do the deed. It wasn’t that she was worried about it not being perfect or the right time, it was actually him who was nervous, nervous of all the things that could happen. “16 and Pregnant” was not on the agenda, and that was holding them back.

But they finally both agreed that they were ready. He stopped by her place and the two started taking each other’s clothes off, and began to giggle (think Ross and Rachel when they first started kissing.) The nerves were kicking in, and resulted in laughs. Okay, focus.

Next, when they tried to put the condom on, well, let’s just say there were some technical difficulties. Her boyfriend was so nervous that it just wasn’t going to happen.

So their first go at it didn’t actually result in their V-cards being given up, but she said that a little later, everything went smoothly and it was worth the wait.

Chad’s story:

Chad’s writing made me laugh out loud, and so I figured it would only be fair for you all to experience his first time in his own words. Enjoy:

“At 16, I tossed my virginity out the window of a battered 1999 Toyota Corolla with peeling tint. The sun was out and the air conditioning remained broken. After a couple hours at the beach, romping and flirting on the shore, my not-that-significant other and I walked hand in hand to her car. We kissed and joked until I gave the universal head nod of “wanna take this to the back seat?”

A shining example of chivalry and poise. I know.

Upon entering the cluttered space of bad decisions, her and I began our fooling. The 1999 Corolla isn’t a lounge with ample rear-leg room. This car has enough room for four and a half people and the luggage space for only three. It was a tight fit. Not as you may think. Space was limited and limbs were contorted.

We took off whatever clothes constituted as beach wear. Her bikini came off with ease, releasing only a shrimp and clamshell from the day’s ocean excursion. My swim trunks, however, unveiled not only a salty, chafed genital region, but also piles of sand I apparently wanted to hoard. It went everywhere. The two of us awkwardly wiped sand from the seats as the pleasuring began.

After about a half hour of sexual build up and awkward stares from beach-going locals, she found herself on top of me. And in the most discrete way possible, I ask, “do you want to?”

Again, a stellar performance on my part. But, with the grace of a skilled marksman, she slipped me inside her. Bounce. Wait, what the shit? Bounce. I’m actually doing it!  Bounce. That six year old shouldn’t be watching. After a mere five seconds of ecstasy, my accomplice hopped off.

“Ehh, maybe we shouldn’t,” she shrugged.

Confused, I gathered my things and said goodbye.

“Thanks for the support,” I said, high-fiving the kid as I walked to my car.

I didn’t get to finish, but I made up for the wait two years later.”

Courtesy of Chad Anthony, one of our fellow Uloop writers!

So, first times may not go exactly how we think they will, but in the end, they make for great stories, and we all have to start somewhere, right? It can only go up from there (hopefully).

Good luck out there gaining your experiences, and hopefully you are making some good memories.

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